2-10-06

Why is it that no matter what you cook for dinner someone hates it? Tonight it was my daughter, tears immediately stream down her face. She looks at her plate as if I was serving worms, Bambi’s head, and spiders. The sobs increase as I say “just eat it and get it over with” (I say this 5 out of the 7 dinners I serve a week.) Because of the intense crying her head now is hurting “so bad”. I try to keep my calm saying eat quickly it will be over soon (like she is getting a shot). Unfortunately my voice level increases, then she starts with the “you’re scaring me”, “you don’t love me”, “and I’m stupid”. All the while getting madder because I know she is trying to make me feel guilty. The tension rises as she exclaims “the potatoes have blue in them!” What? Blue? “Maybe darling it’s the spots in your eyes from crying for the last 25 minutes”, I say through clenched teeth .Her older brother is trying to help because he can see that I’m starting to get a twitch. She starts throwing guilt talk at me “I’ll never make good decisions”, ” I’m a bad person”, “I will never grow”, and my fave “you’ve never loved me”. I am now just cleaning up ignoring the ranting; somehow she manages to choke the poisoned pig swill down. She chews up some Motrin and heads upstairs to get ready for bed. I sigh and center myself then I head upstairs to check her progress. Pajamas are on, and she is ready to be tucked in. As I pick up around her room she says “don’t make any noise its hurting my head!... Breath… and turn up the TV I can’t hear it!” Drained I walked out of the room. My husband walks in from work at this moment and I say “you’re timing is impeccable.” My life so far…