10-13-06

My daughter and my toddler both could pronounce one word pretty flawlessly… chocolate. I try to say it’s not me but of course it is I who is sneaking Breyer’s with Hershey’s Shell topping each night. I’m like a drinker who has one or two at night after a rough day just to function. Oh and I’ve been caught, sneaking my dark (really milk is my fave) little secret. My toddler will wake up and come downstairs, get right on my lap, put his nose to mine and say “smell?” Then he will take in a big whiff and look at me with the “I caught you look”, and grin and say “chocolate.” I will deny like any addict would but they know (the old joke is, how can you tell an addicts lying? ... their lips are moving. In my case they also have a special candy coating stuck in their teeth.). We adults think we are so clever. I now know that this illness can be passed on through my genes (denial again…it’s poor parenting skills). Taking my daughter to the doctor stresses her out ever since she was little. So brilliant parent I am I have her popping M&M’s the entire visit. I said to the doctor she will need some sort of therapy because I can add, stress + chocolate = disorder. Or when she was potty training, she would receive five M&M’s for using the bathroom, candy + toilet = is what is going to happen to your stomach. And still the way I talk my kids out of any of the goodies they find just to keep them for myself, “Um how bout I just drive you to the toy store” or “Here take this $20 you can get a lot more with this.” I am nuts. I even went online to see if they had a support group. One website reeled me in with the AA credo, “Hi, my name is” but you click on there site and there are recipes for Brownie Mix Rocky Road Bars and Black and White cookies! I guess I’m bringing this up because of a certain holiday approaching where my sickness hits high gear. My lying shines through with my greatest fabrication… “Ew, no, don’t eat that you don’t like that.” Damn you All Hallows Eve!!