Fake it till you make it. Spin part 2

We ended with my gorgeous legs but I digress, I have yet to actually get on the bike. So I was saying I thought you would just hop on, boom ta-da. Well no.  You must customize the bike for you, height, seat, and handle bars.  And you need to get your shoes in these little cage things for the pedaling purposes. Oh and you have three choices of where your water can be placed, right side, left side, or in the middle, now I'm prepared to 'spin'. Let me say a cinch, just a pro at this turning of  the legs. The class is not huge maybe 10 -12 people and we are fitting right in. Of course this is the first 60 seconds and now the instructor puts on the headset microphone thingee and turns on the music, today the music selection is themed 'rain', Smoke on the Water, Purple Rain, Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head, and etc. I'm still confident smiling and nodding at the fellow exercisers, giving the 'crappy weather outside' face and 'comfy in here' looks, the silent conversations. I do a little hands free biking trying not to look so cocky as obviously I'm a natural, duh. And then it happens just as a small pang of pain in my left outer crotch area, but I'm good no pain no gain they say. The instructor begins her instruction, she tells us to turn the nob to the right to get some more resistance (this will be my new enemy this freakin' nob) and stand and bike 45 secs, and sit, and nob right, and stand, and sit, and pang, and this crap goes on and on. I am now in full pang mode, I look to my sister who is pointing to her butt area and giving me the silent holy s&%$ what are we doing here look, we should have just gone out to breakfast for some homemade waffles and strawberry lemonade or even a smoothie (we have a bond, I can read her). The instructor notices my apparent troubled look and gets off her bike and comes over. I forget she is miked and I say 'burning crotch' or something just as horrifying in my lovely amplified voice. But smile I it off as I'm so funny- ha he ha... although the only one with me is my sister, tough biker crowd.  I think the instructor says I need to wear something, I'm thinking no maxi pad can cover this whole area, maybe she means a Depends, the incontinence product, which should have more coverage but won't look nice under my cute pants, anyway she isn't saying that, she she is saying gel seat, yes I laugh, a good ole gel seat, wth is that? She want me to gel 'my' seat up or the bikes seat up, ugh. Back to up and down crap, and the lady across from me hops of her bike and starts doing push-ups, real ones and not the girl kind like the we learned in middle school! Show off, right! Did I mention I'm dying now? The class is also older than me so I am making this hardened healthy ass-kicking face like I'm a boss...