Call me She-Ra

Why this work out/exercise thing? It's not really for weight loss, I mean if I lose 5 lbs or so I won't be disappointed or sue or anything. But who am I kidding, if I lose it, it will come from my boobs. Women are cursed with this belly thing, it just hangs on, I know I ate a whole cheesecake but dammit I'm a woman with issues!  As for my breastisisis (yes its a word by me) I cannot share, I mean spare 5lbs from them! If that happened I would have to shave my head and wear a robe and be a Hare Krishnah or I guess just shop in the juniors department, whichever. The exercise started so I wasn't so wimpy and weak. My sister and I always talk about if we were being chased by a madman, bear, a knife wielder, zombie (although they don't run they drag but still frightening!), or whatever, we would just lay there and die, or if we got stranded, no phone, in the middle of nowhere and we had to walk miles, forget it, just say good- bye to our children. I mean I'd like to put up a little fight but at this point of my training, little is all I could give. Although now I've shown how uncoordinated I am, this could help me. Perhaps if I were in mortal danger I would fall/trip and save myself. I'd trip as soon as he swung his huge hairy arm at me, so he would miss, as I tried to get up I would inadvertently knock him down with my flailing appendages, having him land on a rock or something giving me extra time to steady myself only to trip on him pushing his head back into the rock and now he's bleeding profusely, ya know head wounds. I would be rewarded more time to grab a car tire (it would be there) and put it around him, trapping him within the thick rubber, he wouldn't be saved unless someone helps and there wouldn't be anyone, as he would be working alone, dumb move right? And yes maybe lifting a car tire is my ultimate goal! Not that I thought about it much...