Hello can I call it....

October 26th, 2010
05:30 PM ET


Talk about the sweet smell of success! With hit records, a book, a doll line and a nail polish collection already under his belt, teen idol Justin Bieber is now set to launch his first unisex fragrance called My World.

WWD reports that the My World Collection will consist of scent-infused wristbands and dog tags available in designs such as Icon, Energy, Tour and Web. Sixteen-year-old Bieber tells the paper he was actively involved in developing the product.

“They actually brought me a bunch of stuff to smell today,” says the mop-topped star. “One of them smelled too young, too fruity. One was really good.”

With any luck, he'll follow in the footsteps of fellow singer Britney Spears, whose own fragrance collection has raked in millions. Not surprisingly, Bieber says he's a fan.

“I actually like the Britney Spears perfume on girls," he admits. "It smells good.”

Mark Marino -- Special to CNN

Foo Fighters - Wheels

Candy Commotion

My recent bout with the flu left me about 10 pounds lighter. In bed for four days, insides cleaned out, dehydrated and weepy (no tears hence the lack of fluids part, so whiny might be a better word), a stinky mess, but many would say, "guess who can fit into her skinny jeans!" Not to be picky but the older you get you can lose the weight, but the skin's still there... another story for another time. Anyway what has shocked me and left me wrecked is my inability to digest once staple in my diet... Chocolate! WTF!... means 'why the face' (sure). My daily routine has been disrupted. My M&M's, red, green, blue, yellow, orange, and even brown... denied!! Snickers, 3 Musketeer's, 100 grand... denied, denied, denied! Why!? I pray to Willy Wonka to answer me! Mr. Hershey hear my pleas, why am I rebuffed my fifth food group? I suppose I have kept the weight off but it's not like I'm going to the prom or working for the cover of Sports Illustrated (hahahahahaha, I think I peed a little, hahahaha). I will be making an appointment with Jacques Torres (Master Chocolatier) so he can analyze my chocolate chips, chunks, cookies, cakes, whatever it takes to bring the sweet back to my belly.

Blow Out

Why while reading a book of bettering yourself stuff, like 'leave something on your plate', 'practice deep breathing', 'say "Hi" to a stranger', 'don't eat while you're angry', 'no late night snacking', or 'read a book to a child', the book has 8,000 ideas and I can only focus on the food things? And they make me hungry!? So I run out and eat Burger King onion rings and a Dairy Queen chocolate covered strawberry blizzard! My lactose intolerant, onion filled paunch will have me laying in the fetal position in a matter of a hour! Couldn't I just have 'broke a bad habit', 'smile at someone in line', nope self-destructive me...

Confessions

This is how my day has felt so far...

What do you know?

I only have known two things. First, I have wanted to be a mom for as long as I can remember. It was the hardest and most joyous thing that has ever happened. And I was blessed with three handfuls, I mean children. My oldest, well I can't talk about him until court is over. So the jury's still out (ha-ha...). Like I said lucky (ha...). My middle, my too smart I don't know what to do with, is eleven. And tomorrow she heads out to go camping with her class. She has never been gone from home. She has been to sleepovers in the neighborhood, where she has returned home on two hours of sleep and full of happiness to share. But her being gone for three days is new. Big deal to her and me. My youngest, bouncing off the walls, running around in circles, can't sit still unless he's sleeping, is six. He has lost his front teeth and is beyond precious. But disgusting because he tries to gum kiss you. Anywho I love them, they know it, and I hope I haven't messed them up too much... ok court and gum kissing, troublesome but not catastrophic, shimmer down. And duh, I get a second chance when I get to be a grandma, maw-maw, g-ma, nana, whatever I'm called I have heaps (I better) of time to figure that out yet... And number two or secondly I really don't know. I just wanted to sound like I was insightful...smart?

My mom's Da Bomb

Walking kids to school in my bleached out peace t-shirt, red hoodie, baby pink fleece reindeer pajama pants, crocs, make-up smeared eyes, singing the new Willow Smith 'Whip My Hair', doing the swarm of bees around my head movements, and they didn't tell me to stop... Priceless.

Switchfoot - Dare You To Move

Sesame Street:Song: I Love My Hair

Homeless Man Under Pressure.mov

She-Wolf

So when ladies, gals, girls, women, chicks, whichever, have a date, the kind where they may get lucky, they all seem to say the same thing- I got to shave my legs. I always thought that was stupid due to the fact that it really doesn't change the other areas that perhaps need more than shaving. Let's say you are in an 38-45 age range, will smooth legs cover up the dimpled cottage cheese ass? (unless you are a genetic freak or work-out, I hate you) What about those bat wings? If you get animated you're going to break someones nose. Only scalpel not a razor would fix that(hush Shake Weight ladies, not asking you). How about where your boobs are located now? I suppose you could get a good bra and insist it stays on because its sexy. And while you're at it try to push up that inter tube around the middle (not talking to you gym junkies, I hate you still), double the breast size in some cases triple or more. But caution if he snaps the bra off there could be visual and physical scarring. My idea is a headband that can hold your I-Pod. Placing it on your head and playing a football game or some trance like pictures, he will never look away. Right? We are talking about the male species. Anyway sex is sex- so shaved legs don't matter. And love is love- so shaved legs won't matter. Apparently I have made this whole story null and void.

Assured solace

I may be naive because I just learned of the 'danger triangle of the face'. It is the area from the corners of the mouth to the bridge of the nose, including the nose and maxilla (mustache bone, many jokes so little time)- Thank you Wikipedia. So basically nose-picking (yes!) and popping a pimple (yes!)in this area could cause an infection that could spread to the brain... and kill you! Dum Dum Dum Dum! (that's my music, catch on peeps). Hello, sounds a little urban legend - Mikey and the pop rocks, the Wookalar (see "Private Eyes"), and too many M&M's can cause fat, pleeeese people. This has put me into a slight panic. By showing my panic is that leading readers to believe I have violated the triangle? Panic means a sudden overpowering fright, so do I care whatcha all think? Should I seek out professional medical attention for my booger and blackhead needs? Will I need two doctors, a dermatologist and ear, nose, and throat specialist? Will I need treatments over time? Will I need to be comforted after each procedure? Will I fall into the 'Nightingale' syndrome, where I fall in love with my caregiver?!--- Or is that an urban legend?... back to Wikipedia.

Naked

Sitting on the tissue covered plastic doctor table, wearing my 'open in the front' washed out gown, reading last years People, waiting for the 'lady doc' to come in, piped in radio is louder than normal, first song to pop on while I'm in my vulnerable state... Rod Stewart's- "If you think I'm sexy".
I cannot make this crap up....

L'odeur du désespoir

Celebrity perfumes are everywhere!

Paris Hilton: "Inhale and be hooked for life" is their fancy catch phrase. It does come with a warning label, do not wear near police dogs, while crossing the border, or if required to do court appointed drug testing.

Lady Ga-ga: A hint of charcoal, Worcestershire, and A-1. Also a warning, may attract flies.

Michael Vick: This one has been tricky, PETA has yet to approve.

The boys from 'Jersey Shore': Toasted coconut, fried ravioli, and hair gel. It comes packaged in a shirt before the shirt- which it makes difficult for the boys from Jersey to open.

Justin Bieber: Pheromones, testosterone, and the sweat of WWF wrestlers (his people are working hard to bring up his 'manly' image). Warning label reads, may cause voice crackling and girls to self combust.

Is it too late for me...?

I know ya'll have missed my posts but I've had no creative juice... none. Life happenings have clogged my artery, laid a tree in my road, a rock in my roller rink, a blockage in my bowel... ok that's enough you get my drift. So I turn to meditation. First and foremost you just need a space and semi quietness. Next is sitting in silence. Of course I have been tested in both these areas as jackhammer work and my brain fight against me. The neighbor literally has had a jackhammer ripping up everything and my cranium holds a professional Chinese ping pong match 18/7 (I think they take somewhat of a break while I sleep). So as I try to sit in stillness searching for the peace and happiness we all desire, I realize that my karma will not allow my tranquility. So now I turn my focus to cleaning my karmic cloth, disposing of my karmic crumbs, painting my karmic wall, flushing my karmic do-do... ok you get my drift. I have been reading and googling all the tricks of reflection, contemplation, introspection, self-examination... I do get carried away. I have more work to accomplish, achieve, fulfill, produce... ugh really... before I find ????, who knows...

Pandy and Raula- my uncle and aunt

I was blessed to stay at my Uncles and Aunts house recently. Geographically we are not close so we don't get to hang much but these are some observations of our short time together.

*Randomly wandering off (My Uncle) and me thinking I should follow. Only to finally figure out you just like to confuse me.

*Taking me to the local chili dog place for lunch. I believe I have survived due to the assistance of my gastroenginoligist, my bill will be forthcoming.

*My Aunts cat naps through our movie time- so I can't always pick the Oscar winners.

*Learning to use the trunk of your car for everything, phonebooks, jackets, never have I seen some utilize the space so frequently.

*Too be so lucky to be in the car with my mom and uncle to hear all the different conversastions on traffic who knew it could be so down right enjoyable! (That is indeed sarcasm at its finest.)

*Who knew my Aunt was such a jewelry collector... Her address is 1224 Mulberry Ln. Goosedown,Or.

* Your ability to ignore me, I didn't know any human could.

*'The Conrad' the man/king of the house, it was truely a honor to be in your presence.

I will miss you both thank you so much for your hospitality to a smart ass grown child as myself...

My Grandma Hazel

Chasing my sister around with a live shrimp, it cracks me up and she can not eat seafood to this day.

Never telling us her middle name- years of badgering only to find out it starts with a 'B', me telling her I'm now calling her Broomhilda.

Watching her stress over who would get her faux/real animal like stole. I told her it wouldn't be a problem... really no worries.

Talking to anyone and everyone in any and every store we entered about nothing and everything. I am now cursed/blessed with the same affliction.

Her booming voice, my grandpa was hard of hearing so she spoke in the same volume to all. Easy for eavesdropping, even if you weren't.

Our Gin Rummy and Dominoes games.

Learning that 'sot' was used in multiple crossword puzzles.

Anytime you ask what's for dinner her reply, "Poison!"

Listening to our 'orginal' organ music which seemed to drive her crazy, but she never removed the organ from the home which I took as a sign to keep on creating.

Never scolding me for my sense of humor and always wanting me to share with others.

Love you...

Why yes I am...

Two times in the last month pre-teens have mistaken me for 21 years of age. The first one believed since I was so tall I had to be "like 21", I did not argue this point. I am a hot mix of Olive Oyl and Heidi Klum. The second thought since I have no gray hair I had to be 21. Do I teach/educate/rear (best Bevis/Butthead impression "uhuhuh rear") these children? No I do not, that is the responsibility of their parents. I am not teaching them the chemical compounds that have created the stunningly gorgeous color I claim to be my own (named Cocoa-mel). Nor do I need to explain the ratio of height and age divided by weight and number of teeth. I will and am flying out to California to try out for I-Carly to milk this facade while the getting's good. I'll be the new spunky pre-teen with light issues (Nickelodeon doesn't delve in too deep), such as frizzy hair and ill-proportioned shoulders.

Soap Text or Text Opera

I think Facebook and texting has taken away my ability to write and communicate in a normal way. I haven't written in ages, I know my follower,on my infamous blog here, has been on pins and needles to see what's up with me. But instead of actual speech I like to converse in 140 letters or less. My sister is going to murder me because I will text her constantly but when on the phone it's brief. But some of my best material is spontaneous such as this morning when I text reviewed General Hospital for my sister. Went something like "Watching Lucky on SoapNet. He is going for an Emmy. Red demon eyes and harsh words." Seconds later I text again "Luke's growing his hair out for a pony perhaps? Elizabeth and Nicholas are giving it all to Lucky. Their emotions are flat not deep." Still no reply from little sis I continue on more texts. "Now I'm watching freak babies read the flash cards," (commercial you have to be familiar with). Now I am so excited my phone buzzes, I'm getting a text!!! Her reply "oh". Now you think this would derail me I'd get the hint a back away... no I push on, "Precious little girl trembling in the snow... He is GoOd!" I believe she will have to participate now...nada, zilch, nothing- "Oh I write you a novel and you give me "Oh"". I sense irritation in her next text with "I know!!" but I'm not a mind reader. So I proceed with my review, "Father son time". "Luke stand up you can be nominated too." Good stuff right? I'm thinking I have a new career. Her reply- "laundry". I tell her, "You will not be nominated for any Pulitzer for this text chat." Her- "nope", you can feel my frustrations now. I tell her "I need more I want you to reach down deep. Reach to the bowels of your belly." Now she finally comes to, "I will gladly talk on the phone it takes less time." Really? Have I not established that this phone chat crap is out. Am I not transparent enough? My final reply, "I seemed to have this writer in me. This is probably why I don't blog anymore I use all my goods on an ungrateful sl... Oh sorry overcome by GH (General Hospital). I though I was going for an Emmy....