1. My kids are the funniest people I know.
2. I wish I was lactose tolerant, so many Dairy Queens
3. M&M should make an M&M with an M&M inside- I like M&M's
4. I wish I ate better, exercised more, and was athletic...
5. I crack myself up
6. I know I missed my calling to be a regular on SNL
7. People say I'm blunt...grandma that fuchsia polyester suit does age you at least 10 years
8. I say moron and shit at least 4-5 times a day at work
9. I'm still waiting for my Hogwarts letter
10. Fight Club Brad Pitt is hands down the best Brad Pitt otherwise I really don't have a
thing for Brad Pitt
11. I’m a touch OCD
12. I wish I would stay in touch with my friends better
13. I never have any money
14. I like dogs just because I don't want to French kiss your dog doesn't mean I don't like them
15. I like to be weighed in kilograms
16. My hair acts like its always auditioning for a Whitesnake video
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