Pre-pre-teen

So have you ever had an argument that went on for 30 minutes? Probably right? But was the arguing over the intense problem of 6-4…that’s right, six takeaway four. My daughter wants to fight with you, if you don’t believe the answer is 3. She storms in here everyday after school, she’s 7, and because she used up all her “sweet” at school I’m immediately her chew toy. She will disagree with me at any turn, just to argue. “How was you’re day” is pretty much a safe starting ground and even for two minutes she’ll ramble on about her second grade adventures, but then as if someone hit a switch (the name of the switch… rhymes with switch). Her eyes start to squint, her teeny little nose begins to flair, and then you’ll hear a small growling…Screams. “What smells!”… “Amber says Cody’s cuter than Zach, that’s not true!”… “Whose breathing!” And then yesterday during homework, “6-4 is 3!” This went on and on. If she and I were just talking maybe we could have a sane discussion but she was banshee yelling, tears were flowing, arms were flailing, and my mind was cracking. I did everything to act sane… showing six items then taking away 4 , which of course left 2, I’d pleasantly ask her how many were left… she would sigh, look at me, grit her teeth and smile (like Charles Manson) and say 3. There were moments I thought my calculations were off , I only got to pre-algebra at school maybe I’m wrong, I’m in debt so obviously I can’t balance a checkbook maybe she was on to something. I also had a moment that I thought just walk away but my mature side took over and said “get her!” Literally at one moment I grabbed her across the counter like in the movies and said…ominously “TWO!” I left at that point went to run an errand and left her with her big brother, I believe that saved her life. She will never know how close she was. I am probably still holding some resentment from the “Target bathroom, no toilet paper incident” but that’s for another time… and my lawyer’s are still working on the temporary insanity issue, all that legal mumbo jumbo…