2-7-07

Oprah, I like you. You do a lot of charitable work; I’m with you most of the time but then all of the sudden you’ll say something that reminds me of how much money you really have. An example from a previous show is; the time you said you like fresh sheets every two days, and I agree I’d like fresh sheets every two days also but it would be I, me, and moi, who would have to do the job (maybe I’m making an assumption but I think you have a little household help… just going out on a limb with that guess). Yesterday’s show she had John Travolta on and he talked about getting her a car for her birthday (a Bentley, not used either I'm sure) because she gave cars to the whole audience… (again going out on a limb…I believe Pontiac or whoever paid for them and the audience still had to pay taxes). He asked if she still drives it, whenever she can she replies (I maybe misquoting but you get the gist). Then Tim Allen who basically has only a fraction of Oprah dollars said he almost bought a car he forgot he already had… the laughter was deafening. Can you imagine buying two of the same cars? … Hilarious! It’s very similar to the time I went to the store and bought some pickles… you know where I’m going… I already had some at home! Stop I can almost hear the chuckles… Oprah, Tim, or Mr. Travolta, my car is in the shop, maybe you’d like to loan out some wheels so I can get to work so I can pay to get my car out of the shop? Mmmm… just a loaner, I’ll give it back. Tomorrows show is the “secret” to wealth, happiness, spiritual peace, and whatnot. I’ll watch Oprah but please talk to the average person…please don’t tell us we need to have a rock from the planet Venus, a Cadillac Escalade, Maya Angelou on speed dial, and the ability to go back in time. We will all come up short and you’ll put another mile between yourself and the audience.