Purrrrr

I am a lazy human which translates to I am a cat. I can sleep 16 hours a day. I can get up to do my business, bathroom, eat and have some water. I move from furniture to furniture sitting on couch, chair, floor, but ultimately I make my way back to the warmth of the bed. There I stretch, roll, curl up, and eventually fall asleep. Sometimes when I am awoken I stir, wipe at my eyes, and even make a sort of meow type sound. I might even get up at that point or roll over back to my comatose sleep. Sure I bathe in a real bathroom using a real shower with real soap products, I'm not a total double jointed freak that you read about in... ok I'm gonna stop there because for one I just threw up in my mouth a little. And I'm technically an outdoor cat otherwise I would be an indoor (duh) and with people there's some type of phobia link to indoorism- scaredtogooutphobia or something like that. I even shed, I have a mop of hair on top of my head and like cat hair you find it anywhere I roam. I also know cats don't read or write like I am now...unless they are speaking to me in a cat language that only cats communicate to each other and they are telling me I'm a flipping cat! Crap! Now I talk to cats, this revelation is making me tired...pet me...that's me talking...I think??