Where's my emergency ducktape?

So ignoring your 4 year old is not always the best policy... especially when the first thing he says is "that man has a big fat belly". Ignoring was misconstrued for not being able to hear the statement he just made, so now louder and closer to the man with the added pointing (just in case I'm unaware of whom he is speaking about)"see look at his fat belly". Which I reply "bat jelly, nope don't see that let's go look somewhere else"... how about that quick intelligent comeback - *enter groan*

In excellent condition... Thank you very much.

So let’s say you run into someone you haven’t seen for four or five months and they say, “Wow you look really good.” Now add the emphasis on the “wow’ with the face of surprise and the slowing of speech on the “you..look..really..good..” And then before you can digest what they have said they have to run, you know before you can say what the heck was the matter with me months ago!? I’m racking the brain… no weight loss or gain, no new hairdo, no experimental cosmetic procedures, and probably even the same ole bra so the girls haven’t moved… Now being the level headed calm female that I am my first instinct is to hunt this person down shake them until they give up the transformation that I have “apparently” gone through. Why do I care, what in my girl brain gives a hoot? Why do I notice every new freckle (age spot), line (wrinkle), curve (Big Mac bump), and so on. Now people because they are a few of us insanity cases out there perhaps the next time you utter the “wow you look really good” phrase could you follow it up simultaneously with I’ve never seen you in … green, wearing a ring, denim, or July… just pick one, so my wacky butt can sleep …OK?

So my Dad has come and gone without much incidents at all. *Insert Applause.* We had the slight flirting with the check out lady at the grocery store it went something like,"cash back? How can you guys stay in business giving away money"... wink wink. We did lose him in Ikea but that can happen to a lot of people, next time a leash. He also tried to work his way into my neighbors house that is for sale by walking up with a glass of water so he looked harmless. Not telling my neighbor that he's visiting just looking like some weirdo that walks around with a glass of water and a thick Texan accent trying to just "have a peek" inside. Thank goodness that wasn't embarrassing. Watching him cringe at the "testicles in the beach chair" story not because of the story because of the word testicles... classic. Overall it was great I already miss him...

Papa pressure

My dad comes into town tomorrow and I’m already feeling a heighten level of stress. Figuring out where everyone will hang, what to do, and of course knowing my father and his stress level. So I call him to confirm the time he’s flying in and during the conversation he begins to have what sounds like perhaps a heart attack. It starts with a groan and then a “hold on” an “ow” then “let me put the phone down”. While the phone is down he is continually repeating the same noises but now at a distance. I am trying to talk, but his continued pain cries drown me out. Finally I hear “I’m stuck”, I’m yelling in a well? manhole? the seventies? (just joshing). He eventually crawls back to wherever he has dumped the phone and tells me the saga of what has just occurred, he apparently has dropped a “pilla” ( pillow, he’s from Texas) behind the couch and when going to retrieve it, while talking on the phone, got his arm trapped between the couch and wall, and his arm is really red. Okay, I told him I getting him the white haired lady “I fallen and I can’t get up” thingamabob and from now on when on the phone he is to remain stationary. Oh let the good times begin…

Killer, dope, and kewl.

So "all that and a bag of chips" is no longer cool to say because that's what I've been told by my in house correspondent. Which is fine because personally I'm just a bit "all" and a little "that" as for the "chips" sometimes I am family size but just as easily be snack bag size. But I'm must get onto the new thing which may take some low key work because the contributor won't give it up. Because then it would be like uncool again especially when I start using it, I'm like so sure like how could that be like gag me with a spoon, totally. ;)