11-17-06

Today I scared a woman, I believe she may have wet herself, attempted shoplifting, almost burned my house down, had a minute hissy fit, took a toddler into a store filled with glass and chocolate, and because of the above listed items I constantly was searching for my cell phone and car keys ( I was a basket case). First I would like to state that parking in a straight spot is harder than a slanted one, for me (I’m not sure if there are any stats on this fact but I am pretty sure that I’m right.). Also lately I feel there is a shrinkage going on of parking widths (I should probably get out there with some picket signs to bring awareness to this dilemma), that said I can explain the first item of the day. Today pulling into a Wal-Mart straight parking spot, I semi- bumped the shopping cart rack. Or maybe a little harder than that, because the lady loading her car next to it jumped (like a klipspringer, my new $5 dollar word), or maybe she is just sound sensitive? Let just say I blotch out when embarrassed and I looked like a red spotted toad. Anyway at my next destination, the grocery store, I apparently overlooked all the items in the bottom of the cart. The lady at the checkout didn’t seem amused with the “I forgot” excuse (plus I was still blotchy, which made me look a little shifty). I was just in a traumatizing accident I should have yelled but she didn’t seem like one to go to for sympathy. So next was my arrival back at my home. As I walked in I noticed it was quite warm and a bit murky as I entered the kitchen. I had forgotten that I was boiling some tea, or now you could call it a thickened hair dye, a tea jelly, perhaps something you could seal wood with or whatever. The thing about this is that I have been ragging at my husband to move all the crap that has accumulated around the water heater and furnace. I believe my nagging words have been “you’re going to burn the house down.” Last night he moved the stuff and today I prepared to burn the house down (not good if you and your husband keep score). Fourth item today was a slight little fit when I thought some items didn’t make into my bag, so I huffed and puffed, blamed the world , all the while they were right in front of my face . I had a little giggle with myself over that one. Then barely time to clean up, consume a half of bologna sandwich, and me and the babe were out the door to meet his Aunt at World Market. Of course he was tired and fell asleep a minute before I parked (no incidents, thank you). So entering into a breakable store, as we parents call it was not a brilliant move on my half. Summing up the trip, included him ripping open food items and eating them, spazzing out in their narrowest aisle full of glassware, and leaving my sister-in- law on her own because he was screaming “home”. In between this madness I kept thinking I’ve locked my keys in the car or lost them and same with the phone. I must have looking like a paranoid druggie searching my pockets and purse every two minutes. Finally I just took an intermission while writing this story to fix dinner and just wanted to add that if something says “Easy Open” or “Tear here” or anything else that alludes to that promise… they’re lying!!!!!