11-06-06

So every Sunday I work all day. The place I work at has part of the building closed from 7 am to 5 pm, but during the day I do venture to that part (notice how I don’t reveal too much about myself or I’d have mobs showing up at my work to meet “the funny lady”.) Discreet is my middle name… So anyway the first time I went down to that part of the building I smelled fish and just thought someone must have thrown some fish away (I know Mensa keeps calling me, they want to pick my brain for other brilliant deductions.) I did nothing about it, the next two times I was in and out quickly, bothered by the smell but not really wanting to know what the heck it was. Well the fourth time I could take it no more. The smell had grown to a mixture of fish, dirty diapers, and other unmentionables. I began my intense investigation, smelling the two refrigerators , the garbage cans, then wandering up to the landing where we have three freezers (intrigued by my work environment aren’t you). The first freezer I opened, I knew I had found the problem. Not only did the smell knock me back twenty feet, I also went into gag mode. Looking inside the funky freezer unmasked a murder scene! Not really but boy you could have fooled most anyone, with the defrosted hamburger meat and other unidentifiable meats that were leaking there blood juices everywhere (Stephen King could whip up a novel with these ingredients). Now it was around 2:30pm when I discovered this and knew with the place opening up a 5:00pm that this stench could cause some spontaneous spewing. I had to clean it out. In my favor I did have another person with me, to lug the unnamed remains out to the garbage (can you say “vegetarian”). Not pleasant, I mean I just cleaned out my own fridge, remember. The other person (wonderful, kind, and generous) offered to clean the freezer (to prevent the spewing) while I prepared for the 5 o’clock opening. I was beat, just dragging down that stuff and the emanation of rot and now bleach was almost a bit too much. Did I mention I was preparing food now (just reheating). Yea me, I’ve just added another odor. So anyway when my replacement arrived I wanted out, like when Lisa Marie was married to Michael. I had that vision of them in my head; I finally had to call a hypnotist, but that didn’t work, then there was a voodoo doctor…oh never mind, you get the picture. I don’t really have an ending other than I made it home to my fridgeless abode…until next time on “Turmoil’s of the Unfrozen”.

P.S. Happy Anniversary to my hubby.