11-04-06

I’m writing this as I need a break from cleaning out my fridge. Some of you who know me think I’m just having an anal moment, but you would be wrong. My frickin” fridge quit working last night! It turned all the contents to a savory 68 degrees, yum. That’s right; I’m dumping out every little product, making an unwanted experiment in the sink. Every bit I poured out saddened me, even the ranch dressing from 1999 (although you can’t eat it, it just soothes the soul knowing its there.) What makes matters worse is that my fridge is only a year and a half, and because of this, it’s under a “limited warranty” I can only go to a certain repair place. Luckily for me they can fit me in to their busy schedule on Wednesday…Wednesday? When the lady on the phone told me this I tried to keep my cool saying I wanted to be squeezed in earlier, but nothing. She ends the call by saying is there anything else I can help you with today… “Yes a fridge I need a fridge” she didn’t even find humor in this statement (even in stress I’m funny but no laughter back… makes me cold and impersonal, “tear”.) So now as I’m scrubbing off dried up chocolate sauce (even in this sad form it looks delicious), the doorbell rings. I swear to god (that means in no way shape or form am I joking, just ask my sister) there were two church goers at the door handing out a flyer titled something like the end is near. I nodded and accepted the pamphlet. I walked right back into the kitchen, stopped pissing and moaning and took a shower. Just my luck I now have to go to Wal-Mart and stock up on flashlights and batteries, I’m sure I’ll survive the “end” with the all cockroaches and that would be crappy without light. And to think I was all was all broken up about no refrigerator and losing a couple hundred bucks. What’s “money” going to be at the finale anyway… hopefully it won’t be ice cubes.