Who Cares?

So my husband and my brother-n -law have this fascination with me because I haven’t had anything alcoholic to drink in the last 17 years. I usually puke if I drink so I also try never to put my finger down my throat, sky dive, eat squid, ride the tilt-a-whirl, sniff paint thinner, or stick carrots in my nose, I just know it won’t work out well. Also in 17 plus years I haven’t worn blue eye shadow, bought Aqua Net, dreamt of marrying Eddie Van Halen, worn Nike high tops, said Bitch’n, used Sun In, watched Love Boat, cried over Matt Dillon, dialed a rotary phone, or used a hanger to zip up my Jordache. But no one seems to care about that. The best part is the two of them think they can peer pressure me into drinking, are we 13? And if I do succumb to their childish pleas who will be driving me to the hospital so I can get my hangover I.V., then take care of dinner, laundry, and what not, those two…ha-ha I think not, no wait I know not…Nice try my pubescent dweebs…I must run I have to purchase the new wrinkle eraser all the 40 year olds are doing it...