No pain no gain

Ok so I finally get to see the doctor after having the breast tests done. She says that they will aspirate the cyst again then use something else to remove the tissue so both can be biopsied (is that a word?) and it can be done right now in the office. She leaves telling me she will get the nurse to set it up. When the nurse arrives back in she is carrying a large sword, or whatever it’s in a package and it’s got to be 1 ½ to 2 feet long. I’m like hey what’s up with that light saber and crap. She says it’s scarier than it looks (hello never heard that one before). She sets up her stuff then leaves. She and the doctor arrive back and the doctor says sorry for the scary instrument and I said something like well if two people didn’t have to carry it in I wouldn’t be a worried. They both look at each other with the look like I’m going to be trouble, like at this point I’m going to jump up, with my gown opened to the front not tied, and tell everyone to stay back and no one touches my complex cyst. I will then request they give me a head start and don’t try any funny business (I’ll need the head start because I’m taking the elevator because I’ll be too amped up for stair work).Anywho that doesn’t happen (shocker) and the doc precedes to tell me that she’ll numb me up and use the sword of Gryffindor to remove tissue, oh and that it makes kind of a jarring sound when used. I guess I would describe it as a nail gun noise and it works similarly but in reverse yanking out the stringy booger sized tissue and she does this action maybe 5 times. They pat me on the hand like a three old and tell me I did a great job. Get this instead a lollipop or sticker… she gives me some painkillers. So you know I don’t drink so my tolerance is a little low but I’m concerned my booby’s going to hurt so I take one. I’m good, a bit lightheaded, lightheaded a funny word because really I’m not aware of removing a head because it was just to heavy to carry around so I guess aren’t all of us in a sense lightheaded?…of course now that I say this I’ll see a documentary on TLC about cranium reassignment. It’s the second time I take one that I feel even more at ease let’s say. So at ease that at one point I thought a bear was in my room and because of my vast knowledge of nothingness I play dead. You know no sudden movements and all. After sometime passes I start to think it through the odds of a bear coming into a house in the suburbs coming upstairs then heading down the hall to the last door… ok so I guess maybe I overreacted a bit because come to found it was just my hair in my face ha-ha painkillers… Test results next week, let’s hope I pass.