Snazzy Seniors

Now that spring has kinda sprung (3 days in the 70's) I must officially ask my Grandma H. (again) to spill the beans on the top secret matching outfits that are popping up all over. We know the ones matching pant, t-shirt, and if you splurge... a vest, and even sometime the bedazzled/appliquéd purse. The ones that have colors even Crayola has yet to invent, with patterns and flowers that are not of this planet. Now my theory is... and you know I'm semi- brilliant, that when a woman reaches a certain plateau, level, maturity, whoamIkidding age, they receive secret entry to the underground of... let's say Sears. Here they must swipe their computer chipped card or perhaps they have some code or password to enter this covert subterranean hangout where the other blue hairs... excuse me... silver foxes are converging on the latest polyester treasure. They must all must sign some highfalutin contract, they probably use the lawyers of "Survivor", so that it won't be exposed on "Inside Edition" or Geraldo (he's still working, correct?) See my grandma won't budge, no hint, nothing so I'm thinking she scared of being sued of her social security. The only thing is I not sure of what age this transformation takes place... and how can I avoid, evade, escape, and bypass this elastic plastic invasion where I don't have the power to match on my own! I'm frightened...