3-8-06

When a two year old is tired, screaming is usually what is happening. So when you take them to their room to sleep one of two things happens, either they pass out before they make the crawl to the bed or they get that second wind. At first I will lie with my two year old until he is completely settled, this for me can be a painful process especially if they are in “baby wants to party” mode. Today we were in party form so as I lay down I prepped myself for the worst. First as I try to get comfortable I chose to lay with my back against the wall, as always he precedes to step over my neck (missing and falling on my head) to squeeze his 28 lb body in a space the size of a half dollar. In turn I begin to scoot over but that doesn’t appease him because in that moment he has changed his mind and wants to lay where I’ve ended up ( again falling and tripping over my neck and head.) Then we go into gymnastics. “My mom’s a balance beam”, where my bouncing (and I mean literally) boy starts at my feet and tries to walk up my body, falling continuously into my body causing muffled cries to seep from my mouth and bruising that any doctor would question. The balance beam is fun but it’s even funnier when we throw ourselves against mom at the end knocking heads (squeals of joy!) Side note: I really hope it is proven to lessen cellulite, all the pounding and bruising will be just part of what a woman must do to look her best. Now at some point with all the torture going on I start to doze (it is unbelievable but true), this is when objects are now shoved into my nasal passage, ears, or eyes (this, I believe, will not do anything to improve beauty, although again if it is proven to help wrinkles or skin texture all I would say is poke and prod away!) I have had it at this point and begin to restrain the boy (laying on top of him works, I am just joking so breathe people.) Also by now he has grown bored of the mutilation routine and begins to rub his eyes. Within minutes he has dozed off, at this point I start to shove things into his nasal passage….I’m joking! (Really, I just go take some- Motrin).