to play dumb or not to play dumb

Kids scream. When it’s your first and only one you run each and every time. When you’ve got more than one, you pause, yell “what’s going on”, and then react accordingly to the problem. Maybe you won’t run off if let’s say the comment back is “he farted and it’s gross”, not a life- threatening incident. Although the scream is the same for the severed arm or he’s looking at me. I’m talking about my daughter of course, the one who just this morning was screaming that gray is not a color. Now last night my daughter and my youngest were watching a movie and I heard some screaming and even though I could have just yelled up I decided to actually get off my keister and look (I know mom of the year). I get upstairs and to my surprise they are both quiet but as I look at my daughter I can see she’s got a small scratch by her eye that is slightly bleeding. I have deduced with my keen Nancy Drew skills that my youngest has grabbed her and dug in. So I say “look at you sister you’ve hurt her”, my daughter looks at me with a surprised look “he has?” I again say to my toddler “she’s bleeding; it’s not nice to hurt people”. My daughter looks really puzzled, “I am?” At that point she (slow-mo) reaches up to touch by her eye, feels the small wound, and… screams! “It hurts so much!” Now I have realized that I should have kept my mouth shut. Is the saying “out of sight out of mind”… I should have stayed out of sight so I wouldn’t go out of my mind…my little drama queen.

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day… where once again I’ve eaten things I’m not sure why were created in the first place. I mean this time of year you can find almost anything covered in chocolate (and we eat away unknowingly on what could be “who knows” but cover it in milk chocolate)…and as the saying goes, I believe, “eat now asks questions later”, it should be eat now pray later, Hey *IDEA*... chocolate covered Imodium! Killing two birds with one stone…

2-7-07

Oprah, I like you. You do a lot of charitable work; I’m with you most of the time but then all of the sudden you’ll say something that reminds me of how much money you really have. An example from a previous show is; the time you said you like fresh sheets every two days, and I agree I’d like fresh sheets every two days also but it would be I, me, and moi, who would have to do the job (maybe I’m making an assumption but I think you have a little household help… just going out on a limb with that guess). Yesterday’s show she had John Travolta on and he talked about getting her a car for her birthday (a Bentley, not used either I'm sure) because she gave cars to the whole audience… (again going out on a limb…I believe Pontiac or whoever paid for them and the audience still had to pay taxes). He asked if she still drives it, whenever she can she replies (I maybe misquoting but you get the gist). Then Tim Allen who basically has only a fraction of Oprah dollars said he almost bought a car he forgot he already had… the laughter was deafening. Can you imagine buying two of the same cars? … Hilarious! It’s very similar to the time I went to the store and bought some pickles… you know where I’m going… I already had some at home! Stop I can almost hear the chuckles… Oprah, Tim, or Mr. Travolta, my car is in the shop, maybe you’d like to loan out some wheels so I can get to work so I can pay to get my car out of the shop? Mmmm… just a loaner, I’ll give it back. Tomorrows show is the “secret” to wealth, happiness, spiritual peace, and whatnot. I’ll watch Oprah but please talk to the average person…please don’t tell us we need to have a rock from the planet Venus, a Cadillac Escalade, Maya Angelou on speed dial, and the ability to go back in time. We will all come up short and you’ll put another mile between yourself and the audience.