8-15-06

As I sit outside on a beautiful cloudless day, reading my new highly anticipated novel, my 2 year old watering the thirst deprived plants with the new hose attachment, I find myself humming to the weather gods. He looks so angelic my blond boy misting the yard and I’m reading away. It’s like something out of a Rockefeller portrait. WHAM! Gasping for air, water is pounding away at my tone svelte body (ha-ha). My sweet bambino is attacking me! He has change the setting from mist to TIDAL WAVE! As I push my way through the skin removing stream I grab the hose and I … take a breath… I pull myself together … I’m alright… laser resurfacing is expensive; I’ve just saved possible thousands…I turn the hose on the little hellion and use full power. Let’s just say the laughing from his tiny mouth stopped very suddenly. I set down the hose to survey the damage. Book is sopping, I am sopping, now baby is sopping… great now more to do but I chuckle inside, I got the little turkey. I now head for the door and… Sweet Baby Ray’s he’s got the WMI (weapon of mass irrigation) again. The cackles coming from him are definitely something from “The Exorcist” (I swear I saw his head spin too.) Crap… I lean left… then fake back … twisting to avoid the onslaught of spray… I jump… I dive… breathing hard I make it to the door where just as I open it his aim has improved (let’s just say he’d win the kewpie doll). I’m down, struggling to get the door close before the family room is covered in flood! As I shut the door panting as if I just ran the Boston marathon, he appears at he door soaking and sobbing no more chuckles, his big wet blue eyes look up at me like a lost puppy, I look down at him … stick out my tongue and walk away… settle down I’m more mature than that… I let him in, trying not to strangle him as I dry him off… see I’m a grown up calm down…