The Big 4 oh my lord...

*Where my gray hairs out number thoughts in my head
*Where my facial features have slowing come to meet my chin, leaving me looking like a sock puppet (now I know who wrote “do your ears hang low?”)
*Where my skin tone is about as vibrant as a newspaper
*To achieve the youthful glow it now involves a stick of butter, the correct lighting, and touch of alcohol for the people I might be chatting with
*Where my “fun size” candy dependence has attached “woeful weight” rolls in places I was unaware of
*Forgetful is now the ninth dwarf…I mean eighth…oh crap I don’t remember
*My son says 40 is the new thirty but now that he has his drivers license his brown nosing is at a new high
I’m sure there is more but I have a brain cramp from exerting all this energy and I still have to go shopping for my mom jeans, hot rollers for my new hairdo, and get to Bingo- I think its my lucky night.

They like me they really like me!

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The new "Michael"

As I sleep in my migraine induced coma, yesterday its 62 degrees then we drop to 40 degrees; my tiny brain can’t take it! Whoops- skip the tiny brain for ginormous genius mind. Anyway I thought how many babies in the upcoming years or longer will be named Barack? Will we have a Barack Smith or Barack Rivera? Or perhaps as generations go by a Barack Bush? I need to send this story idea to CNN or MSNBC since all have been jumping on the “new puppy” story. What kind of breed, what will they name it, who in the family will scoop, open adoption or closed, long haired or short? Blah blah blah

Change

HOPE

Halloween hauntings

So believe it or not but I did not scarf down a surplus of candy Friday night. I thought I would pile in the pizza instead, hopefully preventing the uncontrollable desire for the bite size yummies. Of course this still had the same effect as if I ate the candy, crap is crap. It’s a pleasurable diet plan, gorge and within an hour it will all come out one end or the other. I’m an unintentional bulimic, I’m irritable bowel on steroids, and as tiny gnomes punched my delicate tummy I swore to the heavens (as I do each time) that I will change my eclectic eating habits… and leave better reading materials in the bathroom, it sucks to be stuck in there for hours reading shampoo bottles and toothpaste labels. As I write this all I can think of is Kit Kat’s and peanut M&M’s… what is it they say you forget the pain of child birth and self induced stomach strains (also known as S.I.S.S), whatever gets me through…